Oddball

Be anxious for nothing...

I came across some literature recently that was quite thought-provoking. I was reminded that exercising an attitude of gratitude leads to general contentment. I have been nothing short of an energizer bunny for the last seven months...going and going and going. Ideas swirl around my head daily as I seek to plot my next move. My mental checklist keeps me sane. Corporate life: meeting targets, clocking in, clocking out...the robot life.

And so I have become the oddball... not to the world, but to myself. The creative gene that I simply cannot bury or ignore gnaws at me each time I take a breather. What is this life? For months I have asked myself...when will you write again Renée?

I'm an oddball because I don't see the world as most do. I still believe in serving others before myself. I believe that everything happens in its own time at the right time. I'm not the ferocious bulldog that makes a lot of noise...I'm the alarm clock you need so you can know what time it is.

Do you feel like an oddball? Celebrate your eccentricities and know that different is good!

TALK di tings dem!

5...4...3...2...1..., Okay I'm done!

For the past two weeks I have been brought up to speed with the pending rape case against former parish councillor, socialite and businessman Don Creary, and his girlfriend, Shaneke Williams (the co-accused) also charged with one count of aiding and abetting rape and sexual touching according to The Jamaica Observer. Now where do I begin?

 Firstly, people are still afraid to discuss the matter openly for fear of being hurt one way or another. Secondly, the victims have been further victimized because people are putting forward that these young ladies are to be blamed for their unfortunate, life-altering experiences. What were these teenagers doing around such an older man to begin with persons ask. Well... I am angry! I am angry with those who think that rape is a hush-hush topic. Rape is by no means a soft, sweet and sentimental subject! Oh no!! It is ugly, shameful and downright barbaric! Now speaking from a mother's perspective, the subject is most unsettling and simply makes me shudder with disgust from my scalp down to my toe cuticle. What if this were to happen to my own daughter a decade from now?

People argue that the accused are innocent until proven guilty. I call bullshit!!! Lay all the cards on the table and call a spade a spade!!! Too often we criticize victims and laud offenders. When will we focus on the REAL issues. When will we get our acts together? When will we be done with mumbling beneath our breaths and shine police radio car lights on these rotten elements? Can we stop with the whispering for just once? No more cover ups...Talk up! RAPE IS ABOMINABLE!!!

5 Types of Friends you need to Avoid

Everyone needs a friend. They help us navigate our way through life. If you think that you don't, you are far more delusional than Bruce Jenner calling himself Caitlyn. We need different friends to suit our varying interests. Being able to choose the right types of friendships should take great consideration. Some may argue that we do not choose our friends, our friendships form "unintentionally". They believe that like the beginning of most romantic relationships, friendships need that initial chemistry or spark in order to blossom into something meaningful or lasting. But however your friendships form, blossom or develop, here are five (5) types of friends you want to avoid at all costs.


The Complainer: This friend whines about everything. They are demanding and emotionally draining. They play on your emotions by making you feel special. They are the types who say things like, "I need you" and "I wish I was strong like you". Everyone likes to feel needed and appreciated but be careful that you do not get constantly consumed with their drama. These friends will even go as far as saying they are depressed to solicit your attention. This type of negative energy can slowly seep into your own life and soon you both will be having a pity party. Run I tell you, Run!!

The "I'm Sorry but..." Friend: It is good to have a friend like this in your corner, or so you would like to believe! You can always rely on this person to be honest and open with you. They are not afraid to tell you like it is. Who would not want a friend like this? On the flip side, this friend is not afraid to knock you when you're down with his/her honesty. They love to hear their own voices and will lecture you for lengthy periods because they are always right! They are not afraid to say "I told you so". When you confess that your feelings were hurt by this brutal honesty, they make you feel even worse by telling you that you need to find a friend who will lie to you so you can feel better. Everyone wants honesty right?

The Busy-bee: This friend makes you feel like you are the most unproductive life form on planet earth. While you were busy sleeping and relaxing on your weekend, they were busy planning, working and making things happen. They tend to be the ones who will also complain about being tired on most Monday mornings. They can never find the time to do anything with you  because they lead such busy lives. Don't you just love this type of friend? This friend pushes you out of your comfort zone and makes you realize... Ah screw it! They make you feel bad about yourself. Why are they your friend again?

The Dreamer/Procrastinator: If you want to make moves in life and seek elevation, avoid this friend. They can pull you down, especially if you have business partnerships with these friends. They make lots of promises but never fulfill them. Their heads are always in the clouds. They have lots of passion, start many projects but seldom finish them. These friends may even lie to you.

The Detective: Friends like these give you constant prep for interviews. When it is time to celebrate, by the time they are done grilling you, you forget what it was that you were feeling great about in the first place. They lack spontaneity and are quite boring, They overthink, rethink and analyze everything. They suck the fun out of life pretty much!

The Popcorn Friend: This friend pops in and out of your life and you have been friends for years. He/she is quite seasonal. You will not hear from this friend for months and then they ring you up or send you a message requesting to catch up. They are similar to the Interrogator because they are chock-full of questions. They want to know what you have been doing with your life and of course they expect details. This friend is cagey with his/her personal life and rarely shares anything of value. Be careful with this friend. For while they may share some things with you, there is no true depth. You think you know this friend, but you really don't.

10 Things that Remind you Everyday that You are over 25

Running into a childhood friend recently got me thinking about my age. I love being in my twenties. It is my security blanket. It makes me feel like I still have time to do any and everything. The thought of turning thirty scares me. Yes I said it. You can judge me! Lol. When a kid calls me "miss" I find myself immediately correcting him/her by saying "No honey, It's Renée". At age 27 I am desperately holding on to my youth for dear life. When people around me turn thirty, I think "Whew, I'm glad that's not me". I then convince myself that I have years to go before the impending "dirty thirty". My peers have their own concerns too. People in their late twenties and beyond, these are their stories...

1. The weight watching
    Can someone say gym rat?! That is what some of you have become or wish you had the discipline to incorporate in your daily routines. To remain young and fit, you have to think about what you consume. If you find something from your wardrobe back when you were twenty and it still fits, you throw a party! You no longer find it easy to burn calories and drop pounds like you did in your early twenties. Chances are you were not even thinking about your weight at that time and if you were, you were only concerned about maintaining your weight. Now, you have to set a goal weight and work towards that. Bummer!!!

2. You think before you spend
    Your unlimited credit card a.k.a mom and dad have pretty much cut you off. You must now fend for yourself and that means earning your own money which we all know is harder to spend!

3. You feel a bit old when you go to some Clubs
     Night-life as you now know it is all about, well, sleeping! You make plans to go out and you think you need a power nap. That power nap then turns into a full blown sleep session which finds you waking up at 3 a.m to several missed calls and hate mail (texts) from your friends. But let's say you do go out... By 12 a.m you are yawning so much that your jaws hurt. You enter the club, you look around and see college kids and you think what on earth am I doing here? Why aren't these kids home in bed? Let's say you had a fun night out, but the next day you are so exhausted, you feel as though you partied an entire week! You think, "I'm getting too old for this!"

4. You find Jesus
    So now that you have grown tired of your heathen ways, you think it is now time to draw closer to God as if God is oh so lonely! You become Spiritual. You want a fresh start. You want to forget your sordid past and all the shameful acts of your early twenties. Best believe your friends remember, and they wont be afraid to remind you. I know someone's out there reading this and shouting a silent Amen!

5. Everybody is getting married or engaged
    Nothing much to say on this one... pretty self-explanatory.

6. Your sense of style changes
     You become image conscious. You begin to think you need more "mature outfits" and you want to always dress to impress. You may even change your hair. Some of you who have completely checked out of reality, start dressing noticeably "age-inappropriate" because you want to look young, hot and trendy. What was the last outfit that you bought? Think on these things...

7. You enjoy your own company/solitude
    Now that you can spend your own money, it means that you can now choose where you want to live and where you can designate as your own sanctuary. You even spend some of that hard earned cash on your favourite foods and liquor. Some of your best moments are times spent alone drinking your favourite bottle of wine or beverage and cuddling up with a good book, tablet or watching cable. Netflix has become the hot, sexy date on a Friday night. Score!

8. Difficulty in keeping up with the constant trends of Social Media and Social Networks
    Let's just say Facebook and Instagram is all I can manage these days. Snap who? Periscope what? I just can't!

9. You cannot hear all the words of that popular song
    You have morphed into your parents who could not understand a word your favourite artiste was spittin'. Kids in their teens are now laughing at you because you can't hear a single word that that rapper from ATL is saying. Watching BET's 106 & Park brings you down memory lane and rather than actually taking the time to watch whats before your eyes, your mind wanders off to that Ja Rule and Murder Inc era.

10. Bills
     Don't you just wish they'd go away or better yet, pay themselves!

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Eye creams: Why do we need them?

There are some of us who suffer from having those unattractive dark circles around our eyes often caused by hyper-pigmentation or the dreaded puffiness underneath our eyes. Many of us do not realize this, but the skin which surrounds our eyes is quite sensitive and prone to wrinkling very easily. Crows feet, also known as "laugh lines" can age you. Men if you think that this post doesn't apply to you? Think again. I see many of you who have already developed crows feet. But, do not be disheartened, I am here for you. For the ladies and gents who have been fortunate to avoid this skin issue, kudos to you! Whether you want to reduce the appearance of the wrinkles, dark circles or puffiness or prevent these things from happening to you, I highly recommend that you read on.

For years I suffered from hyperpigmentation, what I call discolouration. I had discolouration around my lips and my eyes. Through trial and error, I have found two things which have helped me immensely. Raw african shea butter and coconut oil have given me life!!! I alternate between the two and I also use them at night after having washed my face. I must admit that I have a slight preference for the shea butter. The appearance of the dark circles has diminished significantly. I can honestly say that shea butter is always in my cosmetic drawer and bag.

The root cause of puffiness is caused by under eye water retention. Genetics, not getting enough sleep and allergens are also culprits. My top recommendations for treating eye puffiness are shea butter, aloe vera gel, witch hazel and rose water. Try to reduce the salt in your diet. Salt unfortunately contributes to water retention/water weight in our bodies and our faces are not excluded. Drink plenty of water to flush your system. Our pillows, though useful for sleeping comfortably, can contribute to trapping dust particles which can cause eye redness and itching. Keep antihistamines in your medicine cabinets to aid with this and wash your pillow cases often.

A quick fix for under eye puffiness which has worked for me is wrapping ice cubes in a rag and resting this on the swollen area for ten (10) second intervals. Long gone are the days when we can just wash our faces and slather on some lotion... any lotion for moisture. If you're still doing that, please stop! Stop tugging at the skin around your eyes when applying mascara or eyeliner to your inner lids ladies. Be gentle. Pulling at the skin can further increase the likelihood of developing wrinkles (crows feet). Remember, you are stuck with that face for the rest of your life! 

Do not be afraid to bare it all!!!

Hi Guys!

Yes I know I have not shared a post in awhile. I have been super busy with... Life! Arrggggh!!!

Since the beginning of summer I have been taken up with job hunting and preparing myself for what I could feel was going to be a huge change in my life. I have been blessed to be successful in my job-hunt exercise. Two job offers in two months. Thanks to the big man upstairs! I do not know if there is any scientific formula to this, but I seem to always find/change jobs during the summer time. So now that you have been brought up to speed with what has been happening with me, let me jump right into what this post is really about!

Too often we get caught up with being perfect. Now, I am not saying that we should not aspire to always look and feel our best, but sometimes we need to lay off the pretenses. There are times when I peruse the pages of various Instagram and Facebook accounts, I must admit that I too have those feelings of "thirst". I then have to mentally nudge myself back into reality because I know half of what we see online is a facade. People hide behind their social media accounts and of course they are going to post what is perfect and without flaw or blemish.

From the flashy jewels, to the fashion, the hair, the cars and not to mention the makeup. Even working has now become something to boast about...#workflow!!! I am guilty of that one. We are living in an era where it is cool to be vain, self-obsessed and superficial. Be warned! Advertising vanity can only last so long. Youth can only last so long. Virtue and Genuineness/Substance never goes out of style! We hide behind our partners(the perfect relationship(s)), the bank accounts, the degrees, the seemingly successful careers and the list goes on. What we fail to recognize and admit is that we are all in the struggle. We all experience triumphs and disappointments. It is what makes us inherently human. I too have felt that rip in my gut when I have had to pretend I don't need something simply because I cannot afford it. We wonder, did we really go to school for all those years to come out working for the man and living pay cheque to pay cheque? Who wants to travel the world? I know I do. Who wants to be able to take a month of vacation with the comfort of knowing that while you are busy relaxing, your money is working for you? I'll drink to that!

We are inching closer and closer to thirty, forty, even fifty and we feel as if time is running out on us. Shxt we all thought we would be stinkin' rich by now right? Then reality sets in and we realize there isn't enough savings in our bank accounts if God forbid we should be out of work for a few months. What have we been working for all this time? Do we go back to school? Do we explore entrepreneurial ventures? Where will the capital come from? For us ladies when we hit what I call emotional destitution, a feeling of hitting rock bottom, we begin to envy the likes of Amber Rose and her bestie Blac Chyna. The men may consider the narcotics trade or even scamming. Now that is when you KNOW things are really bad! Who or what dictates our identity? Is this something intrinsic or is it based on social media? Perhaps both? How do we deal with these feelings? What I try do is STAY IN MY OWN LANE. I have learnt that by concentrating on my own journey, I have the power to control my happiness and chart my own course. Don't pretend to be something you are not. Wealth will not fall into your lap unless of course you are fortunate enough to have been left a fortune by a deceased family member or you have won the lottery. The odds of that happening are very slim.  Be brutally honest with yourself. Be patient.  Know what you want and work your ass off for it. While you are working your way up, be careful not to step on others. Not all bridges are meant to be burnt either. Be conscious of doing good.

Live in your own truth! Now I am not telling you to go tell everyone your business simply because you want to be real! The world is not your therapist. Spare your Facebook friends' timelines from the constant emotional rants. Please do not go posting God-awful selfies on Instagram with hashtags like I woke up like this! Living in your own truth for me means taking pride in who you are and owning who you are. Sugar-coating things will not solve your problems nor will putting everything out there for everyone to see. Life is all about balance and doing everything in moderation. When you see those bags under my eyes, believe me I see them too. I do not feel the constant need to cover up because its a quick fix. I simply  need to rest. Look out for my next blog post on pocket friendly eye-creams! See what I did there? Lol!

Find people you can trust. If it is one person, that is okay. Keeping a small circle is certainly not  a bad thing. Pretending is! Whatever you put out into the universe, believe me when I say that is what you are going to get back. If you are negative, you will attract negative energy into your life. Surround yourselves with all things good, positive and uplifting. It is normal and okay to fall down sometimes. The key is to get up, brush ourselves off and continue making strides. Be good to yourselves and remember we are all working our butts off to retire early! 

I have found the Fountain of Youth in these four(4) carrier oils

Have you ever looked at celebrities such as Madonna, Tracee Ellis Ross or even Pharrell Williams and wondered how is it that as each year passes, everyone seems to be getting older while they seem to be ageless? We all want to preserve our youth for as long as it is humanly possible. Well I know I do! There are four (4) oils that I will detail in this post that I find to be quite helpful in maintaining the suppleness and overall health of my skin. The oils are Rosehip Seed, Jojoba, Coconut and Macadamia Nut. I will be examining these oils from four angles: skintype recommendations, weight, uses and shelf life.

Coconut and Rosehip Seed oils are on the heavier side.  If your skin requires extra moisture, these two oils have your name written all over them! Jojoba oil falls under the medium category while macadamia nut oil is quite light.

Rosehip Seed oil is perfect for dry and aging skin. If your skin is oily, macadamia nut oil will not clog your pores and acts as a great moisturizer as well. Jojoba oil can be used by all and is often found in many expensive beauty products.

Recommended Uses:
1. Rosehip Seed Oil (extracted from the seeds of Rosa moschata or Rosa rubiginosa in the southern Andes or Rosa canina which are types of roses found in South Africa & Europe)...Contains vitamins E, C & B-Carotene. These vitamins are responsible for the rejuvenating and regeneration of your skin cells. The oil reduces age and dark spots, lightens stretch marks, controls hyperpigmentation and improves the general appearance and feel of the skin & nails.

2. Jojoba Oil (obtained from "pressing" jojoba seeds of a shrub which can be found in the USA and Mexico)...Powerful face moisturizer, mimics the sebum produced by your scalp and as such is perfect for keeping your scalp healthy, calms eczema, psoriasis and sunburns and aids in wound healing.

3. Coconut Oil (found in most tropical islands and is extracted from Coconuts)...Eye serum, body moisturizer, nail cuticle oil and hair conditioner. This oil has penetrating properties and as such is great in helping to moisturize your hair and thus reducing hair breakage.

4. Macadamia Nut Oil (the tree is found in Australia usually and extraction is done through pressing)...Face moisturizer, makeup remover, eye serum, facial cleanser, helps to prevent split ends by sealing in moisturizer in the hair.

Storage:
Rosehip Seed Oil is prone to rancidity so great care must be taken when storing this oil. It's best to keep it refrigerated after opening. Jojoba oil stores well and is sometimes used to extend the shelf life of other oils. Macadamia nut oil should be stored in places that are cool and should not be exposed to heat and excessive light. My favorite oil, Coconut oil, has a shelf life that goes up to two (2) years.

It's always fun to experiment with oils so grab your wallets and purses and start shopping! You can never put a price tag on your health or grooming. Often times people will see our skin before they see us. It is therefore essential that we preserve our skin and maintain its natural beauty so we can all have that feeling of being Forever Young!

NB: Persons who generally have allergic reactions to nuts should do a skin test before using macadamia nut oil.

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